Dear Abby,
A friend of mine lost her husband a few years ago. I didn’t think she was looking for love or companionship, but all of a sudden she’s met a younger man, and I’m concerned. I’ve seen several red flags, but I’m not sure if I should say anything.
She has a house in a big city and another smaller, very nice house overlooking the lake in a beach town three hours away. This man posted a picture of “his” new cabin on his Facebook main page. (I don’t have any details as to who else was there.) I looked at his Facebook photos and saw one of his daughter, who appears to be around 13, along with several photos of a woman I assume are pretty significant other is posing with him and his daughter.
On my friend’s birthday he showed up at her door with a huge bouquet, balloons and all. She called a mutual friend about the flowers and was completely dizzy. This scenario leads me to suspect that he is a predator who may be asking her for money. What if anything should I do?
— Friend seeing signs
If it were me, I’d ask my boyfriend how SHE enjoyed the family reunion at her lake house — and if she’s seen what this new guy in her life has posted about it on his FB. Then I’d tell her that seeing his claim that the place is “his” made you do a double take. Then I would just listen.
Dear Abby,
My mother-in-law, “Gladys”, was never a particularly good mother when her children were growing up. We don’t get along very well. She interferes in every aspect of my family’s life, especially when some kind of crisis occurs. Most recently, it involved the death of my wife’s father’s second wife. Gladys has parked her truck in front of ours to prevent us from going there to give him emotional support.
If she behaves like this, my wife refuses to stand up to her. This woman has come between me and my family more than once. How am I supposed to confront her and my wife about this? I feel like Gladys had her chance, but now it’s my place to call the shots. Please tell me if I’m being unreasonable.
— Husband and father in Georgia
I don’t think you’re being unreasonable. I think you should have a serious private conversation with your wife. You both need to learn to set firm boundaries with her mother. If you need help with this, consult a marriage counselor. A marriage in which one of the spouses feels sidelined is headed for trouble.
Dear readers,
The first night of Passover begins at sunset. This great Jewish holiday celebrates the most momentous event in Jewish history: the liberation of the Jewish people from slavery in Egypt. Happy Passover to my readers who celebrate this important holiday.
— Love, Abby
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, aka Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
This article originally appeared in The Providence Journal: Dear Abby: The widow’s friend is upset when the mystery man shows up
