Skip to content

We should never have laughed at Ukraine

    Anadolu Agency via Getty

    Anadolu Agency via Getty

    Russia experienced some embarrassing setbacks on the battlefield in Ukraine, but none of them were as humiliating as an explosion that shook the Crimean Bridge, also known as the Kerch Strait or Kerch Bridge, early Saturday morning.

    During its broadcast on Saturday on Solovyov Live, Russian state television host Sergey Mardan opened his show with deep sighs. He commented: “All day long we will talk about how this happened and what will come of it. I can already tell you that nothing good will come of it, that’s for sure.” Mardan grimly concluded, “They have achieved tremendous propagandistic effect.”

    Referring repeatedly to Ukrainians with an oft-used slur, Mardan complained that Russia apparently underestimated not only them, but the Americans as well. Chauvinistic disdain for the Ukrainians as Russia’s “lesser” opponents manifests itself in the way Russian propagandists blame the West for painful blows inflicted in the course of Russia’s ill-fated invasion.

    Mardan noted, “There was no shock that they would try to attack the Crimean Bridge, but there was an initial shock that they managed to pull it off, especially in the early morning hours.” He explained that – as usual – the West is to blame: “Many competent people explain that this was a complicated task – not just journalists or commentators, but specialists. There is a high degree of certainty that an operation of this magnitude could only have been organized by Western intelligence.”

    Mardan urged the Russians to stop underestimating the Ukrainian armed forces, even in the comparisons with ISIS. He claimed: “Comparing Ukraine to ISIS is an insult to the Russian army, which fights against them for seven months on a huge front… ISIS are tribesmen in sandals made of tires. They have no cities, power plants, railroads or factories. Ukraine has it all. Ukraine is a cruel, motivated and well-prepared enemy. This is a hostile nation that has been waging a full-fledged war against us for at least 7 ½ months. We keep calling it a special military operation, but they’re waging war… God, I can’t keep listening to this thick and sticky rhetoric, it’s time to stop talking about the peace process and the collective West. This rhetoric does not look good – in fact it is harmful. Since the mobilization was announced, we have been talking about war, a people’s war.”

    

<div klasse="inline-afbeelding__bijschrift">
<p>Black smoke rises from a fire on the Kerch Bridge connecting Crimea to Russia after a truck explodes near Kerch.</p>
</div>
<div class="inline-image__credit">AFP</div>
<p>” data-src=”https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/n7la2t9tA9GACHSXdMhuLw–/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTcwNTtoPTQ3MA–/https://s.yimg.com/uu1.2/api/res/ RHaFdWaJNz9O0u2r4RKliQ–~B/aD03ODA7dz0xMTcwO2FwcGlkPXl0YWNoeW9u/https://media.zenfs.com/en/thedailybeast.com/08785352bad7cd94ede4347319ac2714″/><noscript><img alt=

    Black smoke rises from a fire on the Kerch Bridge connecting Crimea to Russia after a truck explodes near Kerch.

    AFP

    ” src=”https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/n7la2t9tA9GACHSXdMhuLw–/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTcwNTtoPTQ3MA–/https://s.yimg.com/uu/api/res/ -~B/aD03ODA7dz0xMTcwO2FwcGlkPXl0YWNoeW9u/https://media.zenfs.com/en/thedailybeast.com/08785352bad7cd94ede4347319ac2714″ class=”caas-img”/>

    Black smoke rises from a fire on the Kerch Bridge connecting Crimea to Russia after a truck exploded near Kerch.

    AFP

    Mardan predicted an escalation, quoting Vladimir Lenin, urging a harsh response: “We are on the brink of another escalation. It is inevitable… A war must be fought for real or not at all. Now we have no other options… No one is going to allow us to withdraw, even though some would – and actually want that to happen. We shouldn’t have any illusions about that.”

    He gloomily relived the fantasies many Russians harbored at the very beginning of the invasion, fueled by top propagandists on state television, who predicted that a war against Ukraine would be quick, painless and almost bloodless.

    That dream quickly evaporated and reality hit hard even the staunch supporters of Putin’s war. Mardan reminisced: “During the first week, we had a naive expectation of another “Crimean miracle”, as it happened in 2014. There we stood, on the doorstep of Kiev, having solved all the problems … That hope was 1-2 weeks passed later.”

    Mardan grumbled about the problems Russia still has with resupplying its existing troops, especially in light of the recently announced partial mobilization. He sketched the known deficiencies of uniforms, drones and basic equipment, which have been supplemented by donations and crowdfunding. The host noted that at the moment every grandmother in Russia knows what a quadcopter is because she has had to contribute money to supply the army. Now citizens are being prepared to skip New Year’s celebrations, do without Christmas trees or pretty lights adorning city centers – with that money to send to the front, to secure winter uniforms for the troops. Mardan sternly remarked, “This is no time to celebrate.”

    He also revealed that not everyone is as receptive to the idea of ​​an indefinite war against Ukraine as Russian public opinion polls have claimed. Behind the scenes, many fear that the armed conflict is over. In light of this burgeoning trend, state television propagandists have been tasked with convincing the public that unless Russia wins, its citizens would be locked up “in concentration camps,” enslaved or murdered by the West. Mardan said: “After the mobilization, I noticed the growth of pacifist tendencies in my circles, among the people of my generation or older. Very carefully they start to come out and say how nice it would be if everything came to an end, since we can’t get through it.”

    

<div klasse="inline-afbeelding__bijschrift">
<p>Russian President Vladimir Putin.</p>
</div>
<div class="inline-image__credit">ALEXEY DANICHEV</div>
<p>” data-src=”https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/0.Zl3xGXlBIpYweXJvEbqw–/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTcwNTtoPTQ1OQ–/https://s.yimg.com/reuu/api 1.2/jIHcGUcAJJsuR73xSh7t4w–~B/aD03NjE7dz0xMTcwO2FwcGlkPXl0YWNoeW9u/https://media.zenfs.com/en/thedailybeast.com/d92b964f6e06b6a2dcfa0c7037/><noscript><img alt=

    Russian President Vladimir Putin.

    ALEXEY DANICHEV

    ” src=”https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/0.Zl3xGXlBIpYweXJvEbqw–/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTcwNTtoPTQ1OQ–/https://s.yimg.com/reuu1.2/api jIHcGUcAJJsuR73xSh7t4w–~B/aD03NjE7dz0xMTcwO2FwcGlkPXl0YWNoeW9u/https://media.zenfs.com/en/thedailybeast.com/d92b964f6e06b6a2dc0c60″ class=”dcaasec60″im/>

    Russian President Vladimir Putin.

    ALEXEY DANICHEV

    The host suggested that the best strategy for stopping those tendencies was to vividly paint what Russia’s future would look like if defeated in this war. He suggested: “We should paint the image of defeat with the same colors we used to describe the approaching victory in March, when we were planning a parade on Khreshchatyk. [the main street of Kyiv]. I dreamed about those scenes, as did some of my colleagues.”

    Mardan invited his guest, political commentator Evgeny Norin, to specify what Russia’s defeat would look like. Norin ushered in the historical memories of Russia’s distant past. He opined: “Russia’s defeat would be like the Mongol yoke, with a modern technological twist… Crimea, Donbas and other disputed regions would be taken away just to put us in our place. From the standpoint of national humiliation we would be forced to give up Sevastopol. Think of the fate of Serbia and Yugoslavia, who had to give up all their military and political elites. Of course a lot of people here would say, ‘So they’ll chop their heads off, no problem.’ Our soft pacifists say exactly that… Of course we would also have to pay a huge amount of reparations, huge sums would be taken.”

    Mardan and Norin agreed that Russian oligarchs and big business would find a way not to pay and that the cost of reparations would fall on the common citizen. Norin envisioned that Russia would not be allowed to make anything more sophisticated than a footstool and that Western companies would lure away all specialists – as they already do. He predicted: “After the capitulation, we could offer them nothing but the joy of standing with your motherland.”

    Norin obscurely predicted that Russia’s capitulation would “be like Yugoslavia on steroids”, with decolonization being “icing on the cake”. He said Russia would be forced to split into at least 10 separate parts, introducing Sharia law in at least some of them.

    During the same show, State Duma member Alexander Kazakov made a gleeful imperialist prediction of what will happen if Russia perseveres and triumphs: “If we win, we take back what is ours and also what is theirs.”

    Read more at The Daily Beast.

    Get Daily Beast’s biggest scoops and scandals straight to your inbox. Sign up now.

    Stay informed and get unlimited access to Daily Beast’s unparalleled reporting. Subscribe now.