Skip to content

Uncharted movie review: This is not how you edit a video game

    Tom Holland schittert als Indi—er, als Nathan Drake in <em src=

    enlarge † Tom Holland stars as Indi—er, as Nathan Drake in Columbia Pictures’ not mapped†

    Colombia Photos

    Imagine a video game sequel where pretty much everything fans loved about the original was gone. Less action; simpler puzzles; boring environments; plot holes large enough to drive the “Hog Wild” seaplane through; and perhaps worst of all, main characters with boring dialogue.

    This imaginary game, I should add, begins with an endless 80-minute cutscene, followed by an energetic action sequence that recalls the best, most reckless bits of the original series.

    That’s what the very first not mapped movie feels. It is based on the popular PlayStation-exclusive game series of the same name and features the same main characters. But while the film is reminiscent of Indiana Jones, it doesn’t have the same light-hearted, comedic, action-packed stuff of that franchise — or of the not mapped spell. How wild it is for a video game to deliver better movie-like suspense than the live-action version.

    A brief glimpse of gold

    "Professor, what is another word for pirate treasure?" "Drake, don't ask me that question again."
    enlarge † “Professor, what’s another word for pirate treasure?” “Drak, don’t ask me that question again.”

    Colombia Photos

    The last scene is the exception of the movie, and I’ll start there, in case you’re waiting for not mapped‘s streaming release, find this review and skip to the end. Like the game series of the same name, this week’s theatrical exclusivity is all about surviving fistfights and solving mysteries as you hunt for an ancient jackpot. not mappedThe loot is a doozy: two stranded, treasure-filled pirate ships, somehow hidden from all satellite and radar imagery or explorers for more than 500 years. A villain captures the ships and decides to fly them via helicopters.

    The thing is, series hero Nathan Drake (Tom Holland, Spider-Man: Homecoming) and his accomplice, Sully (Mark Wahlberg, The fighter), went to the ships first and stowed away on one of them. Whoosh: They take to the skies, after which they attempt a sky pirate heist.

    Most of the film's scenes with both Drake and Sully play out more like this: bored and in the dark.
    enlarge † Most of the film’s scenes with both Drake and Sully play out more like this: bored and in the dark.

    Colombia Photos

    The film’s camera eagerly follows the ensuing nonsense, which includes climbing old ship ropes, clumsily bouncing in battle, rope-assisted jumps in the air between flying ships, and men who somehow hit the ground running in the year 2022. somehow get into full sword fights. At this point, the crew sees no reason to hide its intent: deliver the most satisfying CGI-based Indiana Jones fight a movie has seen in years.

    Holland and Wahlberg wait for this scene at the end of the film to settle down. The battles are nimble and comical, eventually settling into a Chaplin-worthy empire. And the jokes and banter between the duo feels really comedic and energetic for the first time in the entire movie.