Review: The Super Mario Bros. Movie is a crazy love letter to fans

I’ve been waiting three decades for Hollywood to make a movie that could wash away my disappointing memories of seeing the 1993 movie. Super Mario Bros. movie in theaters opening weekend.

Yes, I know the famously messy production has now become something of a cult classic among people now nostalgic for the unique 90s vibe. But I still haven’t fully recovered from my experience as a 10-year-old Mario superfan who was crushed to see a completely unrecognizable version of Mario on the silver screen. Instead of a loving tribute to the world of my favorite video game, that younger version of me got an unrelated gonzo steampunk fever dream with the least amount of Mario references on top.

At least those of Illumination The Super Mario Bros. movie has the opposite problem. This movie version captures all the fun and vibrancy of the Mario games, with enough references to familiar characters, items and locations to make even a die-hard Mario fan reel. But the film is so maniacally focused on squeezing in so many of those references at a frenzied pace that the film comes across as unfocused, messy, and almost incomprehensible from a story perspective.

It’s also everything a 10-year-old version of me could ever dream of a Mario movie being.

Let’s go

The Mario games aren’t exactly known for deep plots, so it should come as no surprise that this movie’s story is almost painfully straightforward. Mario and Luigi, two close-knit but struggling plumbers from Brooklyn, fall apart when they unexpectedly fall into the fantastic Mushroom Kingdom. Instead of the usual Mario saves the princess story, Mario enlists Princess Peach’s help to save his brother from Bowser’s evil clutches. Peach – cast here as an endearing badass girl boss eager to protect her mushroom subjects – leads a fish-out-of-water Mario on a quest to recruit allies and stop Bowser for good.

I won’t spoil the ending, but was it really questionable? After all, Mario’s platform games only end one way…

There are a few perfunctory attempts at deeper characterization as the plot meanders from point to point. For example, Mario gets an annoying family of Italian stereotypes so the movie can spend about 30 seconds exploring his drive to impress a reluctant father. Bowser, meanwhile, is driven by dual desires to destroy the Mushroom Kingdom and force Peach to marry him under duress, a dichotomy that the film is at least self-aware enough to poke fun at.

This and other popular subplots – the “enemies become friends”; the “family is stronger together”; the “meet-cute romantic interest” – not getting nearly enough time to breathe, even by the standard of similar family movies. If you were hoping for something Paper Mario-style lore – or even a focused, character-heavy, Super Mario Adventuresstyle quest – you will be disappointed in the end.