“I lost mine social skills!” I texted a friend as I was on my way to my first in-person conference in four years. The workshop itself wasn’t new — I’d been to the same workshop every two years for the past ten years. last live in 2018, the virtual one in 2020 and this one in 2022, I had come to appreciate the ease of learning online. No flights. No dress code. No interaction with others – the perfect environment for an introvert like me.
But 10 months after I registered, I left my sweatpants and slippers at home and headed to the airport, eager to connect with friends old and new.
Virtual conferences aren’t going away – not everyone likes to travel and spend time in conference rooms surrounded by strangers. But in-person events are back, and if you’re ready to mingle with people who share a common interest, these tips can help you get the most out of the experience.
Understand the safety protocols
After a series of lockdowns, fluctuating restrictions, variants and other communicable diseases, it can be daunting to stick to a convention. Before you sign up, check the organization’s website for what to expect when you arrive. Do you have to show proof of vaccination? Are masks mandatory during sessions? Do you have access to medical care on site?
“For the last four years, even before the pandemic, we had primary care physicians on site,” said Tanya Philyaw, a senior meeting planner at Meeting Planners International (MPI). “If someone felt bad, we sent them to the doctor who was manning the event.”
She points out the protocol on their website to those concerned about the safety of her group. The “Know Before You Go” document has a Duty of Care section that reads: “While masks are not required to be present, please respect those who wish to continue wearing masks in the crowd.” It’s common sense but a good reminder: if you’re sick, stay home.
Practice your social skills beforehand
You’ve committed to the conference and now it’s time to put yourself out there. Social skills, like all others, require constant effort. “It’s common for people to feel impractical and uncomfortable,” says Miriam Kirmayer, a clinical psychologist and friendship expert. “We tend to personalize the discomfort rather than see it as a normal human response to vulnerability and uncertainty.”
She says we tell ourselves we need to know how to navigate our friendships as adults. And it’s easy to fall into the trap of believing, “I should have thought of this by now”—a common thread running through her work and research on friendship. “For some of us, it’s been a long time since we’ve had to make new friends.”
Start making eye contact while checking out at the grocery store or walking around your neighborhood. Strike up light-hearted conversations with a barista or meet up with a friend for lunch or after work. The goal is to feel more comfortable interacting with others and make friends by the time you get to the convention.
Check with others before leaving the house
The organizers of the workshop I signed up for provided a list of attendees via Dropbox. Not all organizations make a list available, depending on compliance issues and the size of the event. But if you can find the names by checking out the group’s website, get in touch with others through social media. Philyaw recommends using LinkedIn. “Follow someone or send a message: ‘Hey, I’m going to the conference too. What do you want to get out of the event?’” she says.
“When we go as an introvert without planning and preparation and without looking at who will be there, we set ourselves up for failure,” says Matthew Pollard, author of the Introverted side series. Liking some of the articles and posts from the people you’d like to meet can be helpful, he suggests.
