Tens of years ago, John Glover, a lawyer in his early 1930s with a woman and two children, noticed in a bank lobby to find out how he could stretch what was left in his account to cover his costs. Shielding appeared. He wanted to drive, write and worry about the money in the account later.
“There was just no money,” said Mr Glover, who had only assumed to build a law firm, but struggled with self -quality issues and became an entrepreneur. “It was a dark time. I have not seen a way out, “he said.
Mr Glover concentrated on what he felt, the most important problem was: how to get through the next month financially. His panic spirit turned to the life insurance policy of Accidental-Death he had through the State Bar.
“And I thought, well, that would be a solution,” he said.
He would, he thought, would make his death look like an accident. Then his family would receive the life insurance money, which would solve the problem.
The amount of the payment: only $ 5,000. In the tunnel vision of his crisis, this meager amount seemed to be the answer.
The thought passed and he did not take that way. Mr. Glover and his family lost their house by shielding, and he and his wife separated a few years later. But he went through it.
For many people who have debts, a sense of hopelessness can ensure that they consider taking drastic measures. Although taking a life of its own is often the result of a combination of risk factors, such as mood disorders or access to fatal resources, stressors such as financial crises can give the scales to an attempt. A study showed that experiencing debts or a financial crisis increased the chance of an attempted suicide by 58 percent. But other options are always available.
“It is important to remember that although there is usually no reason for the suicide of an individual, financial stress can play a contributing role for many people,” said Sarah Brummett, director of the Executive Committee of the National Action Alliance for Suicide Prevention , a public -private partnership.
“The point when stressors, including finances, reach a crisis point, is really defined by yourself,” she said.
On the advice of a friend, after his moment of suicidal thinking in the bank lobby, Mr. Glover to write down every time he spent money. At the moment he had considered taking his own life, he said, his financial figures were felt insurmountably seriously.
Once he started keeping track of concrete songs with better records, “was the ultimate truth that they were not,” he said. “There is always a way out.”
He added: “So that was the start for me to see the possibility instead of the impossibility of money.”
For some people deep in debts, bankruptcy can offer a second chance. Mr. Glover became involved with debtors Anonymous. Community, he said, served as “an immediate shame buster, because you understand that you are not the only person with this problem.”
There he met Karen McCall, who had also been ashamed and hopelessly felt about the payment waves of payments that crashed about her. She was just starting a company, Moneygrit, to help others in financial crises.
“My very first meeting I went to, I felt so embarrassed for these people who openly talked about money,” said Mrs. McCall. “During that year and half a meeting it broke a bit of my denial, and this beautiful Irish man looked at me and said,” I am so happy that you are here. ” And then the waterworks started.
Under the factors that can contribute to a person's consideration, suicide while being kept in financial problems in problems, “is number 1,” she said.
“It's secret, it's that fear, it's that shame. The secret is a way to protect itself against exposure, “said Mrs. McCall. “They think: if they don't see this about me, then I am somehow safe. And it's the opposite. They will absolutely kill those secrets. '
Later a psychiatrist referred a customer to her for financial coaching, a respected doctor and father to two children at the Graduate School. He was intercepted while he is considering taking his own life, so that his life insurance policy could pay the rest of their education. All proof of his financial downfall was hidden in his office.
“I have seen the depths of despair and the hopelessness that people feel,” said Mrs. McCall.
One of the first actions she suggests for someone in financial problems is to look at the figures where a person is currently right, both to trivate what money is needed for the week and how big the fault or loss is. Mrs. McCall said she had seen people in crisis see that they completely change their country as soon as they switched from the fear of a observed disaster to concrete figures.
“So often, when people don't know the true facts about what their situation is, they may not know exactly what they owe,” she said. “They may not know what their options are.” She added: “They feel better. So the numbers are super, super important. “
Now a couple, Mr. Glover, 74, and Mrs. McCall, 81, have traveled through Europe for most of the past two years.
“When we met, it was a complete impossibility to think of something like that,” she said. “Dealing with money problems, whether it is to earn, too high editions, whatever it is worth it. It can really change lives. “
Find yourself
Ambus Hunter considered himself a person who was good with money. Then a trip to Las Vegas introduced him to Roulette. Over time, his game tipped a problematic gambling and lost around $ 10,000 in a month. At the age of 25 that was almost his savings.
“I really felt that I didn't know who I was,” said Mr. Hunter. “It is a very heavy and trippy feeling to lose a feeling of yourself.”
His mind limited to the most important thing: to get the money back. He came up with ideas, intensely but volatile, of illegal regulations.
“And I also had very intense and fleeting moments of, well, what if you just leave here, end up, in the form of unfortunately: how would it be to take your own life?” he said.
He said he was able to push through those thoughts and did math. He realized that if he only spent on Essentials and had two side jobs, he could rebuild his savings within five months. He was rid of his cable, home international and social life. And he got a job as a mysterious shopper and a brand ambassador.
By the age of 30, Mr Hunter said, he had built up his wealth to $ 200,000, and he became a financial adviser for problem gamblers. Now 38 and living in Baltimore, he said that the experience has informed his perspectives and relationship with money in a positive way, and he was able to use it to help others. He said he saw a factor as essential to go through: self -power.
“It feels terrible to feel that you have made a decision that not only brought yourself into a financial challenge, but also people you love,” said Mr. Hunter. “I think the forgiveness of yourself for decisions is a great first step. I don't think something comes from these other things before you come to a sense of forgiveness for yourself. “
Get mental health care
Michelle Singletary, author of “What to do with your money when crisis strikes: a survival guide,” said the care for people in deep debts could not just go the figures.
“We must normalize mental health,” she said. “We normalize it to take care of your body, but we have to normalize to take care of your mind. I think the more we can normalize, the more people who, hopefully, will get help. “
Free mental health care can be available through an employer's employee utility or through other means. Everyone can call or text 988 to talk to someone on the National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.
Mrs. Singletary said that the element that surprised her the most while investigating and writing her book was that people tend to remain silent about their financial problems, what inhat what Mrs. McCall said.
It doesn't matter what your salary is, Mrs. Singletary said. People can get into financial trouble, regardless of their income. She compared the feeling with in a hole that you dug.
“If you are in the hole, it's only you and the walls,” she said. “And it is the same with the financial crisis: it is only you and the fault and loss of the job or the loss of your investments. That is all you see in that hole, because you are alone in it. “
Speaking with someone, she said, can help change your perspective.
“If you have someone else in it, they might put their hands down and you can step into their hands and get out of the hole, or you can reach and find someone,” said Mrs. Singletary. “Don't try to do it alone.”
If you have suicidal thoughts, call or text 988 to reach the lifeline of 988 suicide and crisis or go to Speakofsuicide.com/resources For a list of extra sources.
