A spokesperson for Elizabeth Taylor once claimed that the considerable weight gain of the actress was due to “her glands”. When the satirist Peter Cook heard this explanation, he naturally expressed his utmost sympathy.
“Poor woman,” he said. “There she is, in her suite in the Dorchester, a harmless watching television. Suddenly her glands pick up the phone and order two dozen Éclairs and a bottle of brandy. “No,” she shouts, “please, I beg you!” But her glands do not pay attention. Determined glands that they are, her glands. You've never known glands like them. The trolley arrives and Elizabeth Taylor hides in the bathroom, but her glands take the Éclairs, turn the door and fill them down her throat … “
What a pity Peter Cook is no longer with us. He had been fascinated to hear the newest breakthrough in our understanding of obesity. And we owe it no less an authority than Oprah Winfrey. The Queen of American Media has aware of listeners of her podcast who, if you are obese and have difficulty losing weight, it is not because your willpower is missing. You are just a victim of bad luck. Because, she explains, “Obesity is a disease.”
Well, that's a relief. Being fat is not our fault. It is just a disease that we happen to have. Good to know. I only have one question.
How exactly is this disease transferred?
We know that many people are slim in their youth, but later get fat. Probably the disease is therefore not genetic, but viral. One day you are on the bus and pay attention to your own company, when a obese passenger suddenly sneezes crumbs of his steak over you. That night you go to bed that you feel insignite – and when you wake up the next morning, you are 18 stone.
I really hope that scientists will do more research into this terrible disease. First of all, I would like to know why the disease is so contagious in the US and other rich Western countries – but in poor countries the disease does not seem to spread at all. Do Ethiopians have herd immunity? Or have they discovered a wonderful vaccine?
In the West we now have drugs for weight loss but unfortunately their manufacturers cannot keep up with the question. Nevertheless, there are steps that we can all take to prevent obesity disease from spreading.
First practice social distance, by being two meters away from the nearest fat person. And second, always wear a face mask.
You should prevent that from catching the obesity virus. Or stop at least that you push éclairs into your mouth.
Censorship will not prevent the following Southport
Who is really the fault of the massacre in Southport? The government and its supporters have a number of curious ideas. Partially they blame Amazon, for selling the murderer a kitchen knife (a weapon that would of course be impossible to obtain otherwise). And they also blame social media.
Yvette Cooper, the Minister of the Interior, told MPS on Tuesday that “social media companies should take responsibility” for the “dangerous material” shared on their platforms. And Dale Vince, the multi -millionaire Labor Donor, strongly agrees.
“I think [Axel Rudakubana] was considerably radicalized by content on social media, “he argued about the BBCs Asking time. “One of the biggest things we can do to prevent this from happening in the future is to properly control social media.”
But this is to get cause and effect in the wrong direction. Rudakubana watched violent videos on social media because he is a bad psychopath. However, Mrs. Cooper and Mr Vince seem to think that watching violent videos on social media made him a bad psychopath.
In reality, clamping on social media will not do anything to stop the next Southport. Yet I suppose we can understand why people on the left can take this special line. A lot of preference to rail against social media than to consider other rather uncomfortable topics. Such as, for example, the failure of multiculturalism, and the possibility that the politicians who led us to make our country less safe.
The traitors drive myself crazy
Have you viewed the latest series The traitors? If so, you will undoubtedly grind the teeth of yourself. Because, just like in the previous series, the participants had a crazy habit of saying 'yourself' instead of 'you'. At the end of each episode, when they had to reveal which participant they thought was a “traitor”, they would almost all say: “I voted for yourself.”
It's astonishing. Do these people only speak in the show, or do they also do it in daily life? Do they sing: “Congratulations on yourself”? Do they say: “Will yourself marry myself”? They think Queen had a hit Ourselves will rock yourself?
Experts in linguistics claim that there is actually a subtle psychological goal for such phrasing. Say 'yourself' instead of 'you', these experts claim, make the comments of the participants seem less personal and therefore less likely to make the person they vote from the show.
I think that's nonsense. If there is something, it will probably make it angry that person. Because he or she will think: 'It's bad enough to be voted. But it is even worse to be voted idiot by an illiterate. “
Way of the World is a biweekly satirical view of the headlines that are aimed at mocking the absurdities of the modern world. It will be published every Tuesday and Saturday at 7 am
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